You Will Either Live Offended or Free; You Cannot Be Both!

WELL DONE — ENDING THE YEAR WITH PURPOSE

Strengthening What Matters Most — Offended or Free

We belong to one another only through and in Jesus Christ.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. Max Lucado

The disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” Matthew 18:1 (NIV)

The Scandal of Offence

It is impossible that no offences should come. Luke 17:1 (NKJV).

Skandalon: the trigger of a trap on which the bait is placed.

In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Matthew 18:34–35 (NIV).

Responding To Offence

What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? Matthew 18:12 (NIV)

1.         Offence Mustn't Fester

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. Matthew 18:15 (NIV)

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 (NIV)

Conflict delayed is reconciliation denied.

2.         Offence Needs Wisdom

If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. Matthew 18:16 (MSG)

When hurt happens, we need others who will speak wisdom that our pain cannot see. Dallas Willard

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV)

3.         Offence Is Contagious

If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Matthew 18:17 (NIV).

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone… See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:14–15 (NIV).

Offence has a voice

If they still refuse to listen… treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Matthew 18:17 (NIV)

When offence speaks louder than God’s Word, it drowns out the very truth that can heal us.

We must allow the Word of God to confront us, to disturb our security, to undermine our complacency, and to overthrow our patterns of thought and behaviour. John Stott

Look to God’s instructions and teachings! People who contradict His word are completely in the dark. They will go from one place to another, weary and hungry. Isaiah 8:20–21 (NLT)

Offence Needs Healing

Lord, how many times shall I forgive… Jesus answered… Matthew 18:21–22 (NIV)

Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:19 (NIV)

Reconciliation restores both peace with people and partnership with God.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! …For there the LORD has commanded the blessing. Psalm 133:1–3 (ESV)

Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21–22 (NIV).

To forgive is to set a prisoner free — and discover that the prisoner was you. Lewis Smedes

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col 3:13 (NIV)

Jesus wants to transform your hurt into wholeness.

A Childlike Spirit

Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1–3 (NIV)

What if the greatest sign of maturity in the Kingdom isn’t how much we know, but how soft our hearts remain?

“It is possible that God says every morning, ‘Do it again’ to the sun; and every evening, ‘Do it again’ to the moon. … It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.” G.K. Chesterton