This sermon in bigger than a 30min message, it’s 20 years of searching for healing. And healing for many more.

Sermon: “When Covenants Break”

Matthew 19:1-9

1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.

2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked,

“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4 “Haven’t you read, ” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

7 “Why then,” they asked,“did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

35 Years ago… Cook AOG CHURCH

Intro. Holy ground.

● This is not abstract. It is people’s tears, scars, and hopes.

Did Jesus say?

● Domestic violence (physical, verbal or emotional)

● Financial neglect or manipulation

● Sexual abandonment or coercion

● Emotional cruelty and degradation

● Spiritual abuse or manipulation

● “I don’t love them anymore”

● “I found someone better”

● “He doesn't clean up after himself”

● “She just doesn't get me”

Jesus says: “At the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’

… the two will become one flesh… what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:4–6, NIV).

● God’s heart is covenant love.

● When covenant is betrayed, God rescues, heals, and makes new.

● You are no the LABEL of your past:“Your marriage may have failed. You are not a failure in Christ.

ONE: One Flesh, One Story

Scripture: Genesis 2:24. Matthew 19:4–6

● The Hebrew word for “one flesh” is ’echad — the same word used in Deuteronomy 6:4: “The Lord our God, the Lord is one.

” It speaks of profound, indivisible unity.

● Marriage is not convenience. It is covenant. Not a contract you can exit, but an ’echad-union forged before God. To the Pharisees, they approach Jesus about the contract and Jesus points them back to the covenant.

● In covenant, I don’t just give promises — I give myself.

Illustration: wedding vows are not “until it gets hard” — they bind us for better or worse.

Power line:“On the day of our vows we did not trade terms. We traded selves.”

TWO: The Clash of Rabbis and Reasons

Scripture: Matthew 19:9. Deuteronomy 24:1–4. Malachi 2:14–16.

Deuteronomy 24 context

● The Pharisees asked Jesus: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” (Matthew 19:3).

● They are quoting Deuteronomy 24:1 — if a man finds “something indecent” (Hebrew: ‘erwat dabar).

Deuteronomy 24:1

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,

2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man,

3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies,

4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

In Jesus’ day the rabbis argued over the meaning of Deuteronomy 24:1–4, where a man could give his wife a certificate of divorce if he found in her “something indecent.

”Rabbi Shammai taught this phrase referred only to serious sexual immorality, making divorce very limited. Rabbi Hillel argued it could mean almost anything displeasing to the husband, even trivial reasons like burning a meal.

This “any cause” divorce became popular, leaving women especially vulnerable. When questioned,

Jesus rejected both schools by pointing back to God’s original design in Genesis: covenant oneness that man must not separate.

● What does “something indecent” mean? This is where the rabbinic debate comes in.

Hillel vs Shammai

Shammai: Focus: Strict obedience to God’s commands.

● He would frame the greatest command as wholehearted devotion to God through exact Torah observance. His concern was guarding holiness, so the emphasis was: “Love God by keeping His law with precision.”

Hillel Focus: Mercy and love of neighbour.

● He still affirmed devotion, but he summed up Torah differently. When asked, he said: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour. That is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary.”

Their View on Divorce.

● Shammai: Only serious sexual sin (adultery) justifies divorce.

● Hillel: “Any cause”

— even trivial things (burning dinner, spoiling his meal).

● Jesus is pulled into this culture war. He doesn’t side with Hillel or Shammai. He goes deeper: back to creation, to covenant.

THREE: When Words Decide Destinies

Porneia vs Moicheia

● Jesus chooses the word porneia in Matthew.

○ Moicheia = adultery. Narrow.

○ Porneia = wider, used in the Septuagint for covenant betrayal — Israel “playing the prostitute” in Hosea, Jeremiah, Ezekiel.

Matthew 5:27

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery (Moicheia = adultery. Narrow.).’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’

32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality (Porneia = wider, used in covenant betrayal,) makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

● Augustine later narrowed porneia to mean almost only adultery. In the fourth century

Augustine changed how the Church read Jesus’ words. He translated the Greek word porneia into Latin and narrowed it. In the Septuagint porneia meant covenant betrayal, unfaithfulness, even spiritual prostitution. Augustine reduced it to mean only carnal sin. Only the sexual act of adultery. That view dominated the Western Church for more than fifteen hundred years. The result was tragic. Men and women trapped in marriages of violence, coercion, abandonment, or abuse were told they had no biblical grounds for freedom. Their pain did not fit Augustine’s narrow category. But Jesus was not giving us a legal checklist.

He was giving protection to the vulnerable. His word choice was deliberate. Porneia is bigger. It names every betrayal that shatters covenant when love, safety, provision, and faithfulness are denied.

● Biblically, porneia points to any betrayal that breaks covenant faithfulness — ongoing sexual immorality, abuse, abandonment, coercive control, manipulation.3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “something indecent” (Hebrew: ‘erwat dabar).

4 “Haven’t you read, ” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ’echad

6 So they are no longer two, but one ’echad flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

7 “Why then, ” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” A “Get” (allowed due to covenantal unfaithfulness)

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality (Pornia covenantal betrayal), and marries another woman commits adultery.”

● “Jesus is not making it harder for the broken. He is making it safer for the vulnerable.”

FOUR: The God of New Beginnings

Scripture: Romans 8:1. 2 Corinthians 5:17.

● When covenant is truly broken, remarriage can reflect restored dignity.

● Where we have been guilty, repentance is the only road home.

● The Church must hold truth and mercy together: defend the weak, extend forgiveness, proclaim hope.

Remarriage is never an issue for the victim(the one who did not break the covenant) where divorce has been put on them in accordance with Exodus 21:10.

Repentance for the perpetrator (the one who broke the covenant), in accordance with Jesus in Matthew 19:8, was permitted due to a “hard heart, ” because the Law made room for human failure, not as approval, but as concession. Jesus doesn’t excuse covenant-breaking—He exposes it. The hardness of heart that leads to abandonment, abuse, or neglect is what fractures the union. While repentance is always possible, it doesn’t erase the damage done or automatically restore the covenant. Grace covers the sinner, but it doesn’t remove the consequences. In the case of covenant violation, the one who remained faithful is free to walk in peace—and the one who broke the covenant must walk the road of repentance with humility, not entitlement to restoration.

Power lines:

● “The gospel is not “stay broken”

. The gospel is be made new.”

● “Your story is safe in the hands that were pierced for you.”

FIVE: Grace in the Rubble

Scripture: Psalm 34:18. John 4:4–26.

● Some marriages cannot be restored because one party will not repent. Their heart is Hard to the promise they made to love, protect and provide.

● But God is near the brokenhearted.

○ He forgives Mary caught in the act of adultery, the truly guilty

○ He restores the rejected woman at the well. The Truly rejected.

● Jesus meets the Samaritan woman — five husbands, a broken story — yet He restores her

dignity and calls her into mission.

God hates divorce because he is a divorcee. Jeremiah 3:8 (NIV)

“I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries.”

Where to from here

● Fight for it

● Get Counsel

● Come Back to the table

● Find Healing

● Forgiveness of others (forgiveness is not accepting covenantal breakage). Neither is divorce the solution.

“I have to because the Bible says.”

● Forgive yourself

● Block out the haters (they will always be there)

● Be restored regardless, if not together then individually

In a world where hearts break and vows are shattered, Jesus does not offer cold legalism—He offers clarity, compassion, and truth. Marriage was always meant to be eḥad—a sacred oneness reflecting God’s own unity. Yet we live in the tension of broken promises and painful betrayals. For the one who stayed faithful, there is no condemnation. For the one who broke covenant, there is a road of repentance, not rejection. God Himself, though grieved, gave Israel a certificate of divorce—and yet still pursued her with tenderness and hope. Jesus doesn’t weaponise Scripture against the wounded. Instead, He restores the weight of covenant while protecting the vulnerable. You are not disqualified because of divorce. You are not forgotten in your pain. He sees. He knows. He calls us back to the table—to grace, to truth, and to healing. Whether your marriage is restored or your soul is being rebuilt, hope is not lost. God redeems what man discards. His story for you is not over. Keep walking with you eyes on Jesus.